Perfectly Imperfect

Getting this blog up and running has been quite the process. It’s now been TWO WHOLE YEARS that I’ve been toying with the idea, taking 5 steps forward just to take 3 more back. But at last, we are here! I went from conceptualizing things as this wee babe (I had just come out as nonbinary): 

“I think I’m going to start blogging on my experience as a committedly OUT queer individual…I bring this up because BOY IS IT A BLAST TURNING HEADS LOOKING LIKE THIS IN OHIO”

To fully embarking on this blogging journey as the unapologetically queer little beast that I am:

Needless to say, when I do it up the way I like best, I turn many more heads than that day I met an unwilling Mennonite family in an Ohio pitstop bathroom two years ago.

Anyway, I named this article “Perfectly Imperfect” because I’ve recently been in a coaching program that is teaching me how important that pseudo-oxymoron really is for us to understand. When we keep moving the goal posts farther down the field to obtain “perfection” (in quotes, because it generally doesn’t exist), we keep ourselves from living in the moment and appreciating what is. The only perfection that is obtainable is in perceiving the human experience as whole and purposeful, flaws and all.

I am publishing this blog before I’ve considered myself ready to do so. Not all the menu tabs have content yet, and I have an overwhelming amount of unfinished posts in my Google docs. But, I have been sitting on things for too long. Letting go of the outcome and living in the moment is allowing me to just say

fuck it.

It’s time. It’s time to actively invest in creating a world where we are allowed to be perfectly imperfect, because to be perfectly imperfect is to be human. I may be queer, neurodivergent, and disabled, but the world is hard even on the neurotypical, cisgendered, abled folk. We convince ourselves that it’s healthy to conform to a system that serves a select few in power (read: older rich white men), and I would even bet that those in power aren’t truly fulfilled and happy, save for the sadistic plenty. (I say sadistic, because I don’t understand how most rich people can see all the injustices in the world and not want to be part of the solution.) The system that we live in dehumanizes us on the daily, and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of seeing injustice after injustice, of people not being able to live fully-actualized lives, and worse, not being able to live free of fear and harm.

Bottom line, and I’ll dig more into this “oxymoron” later on, is that I have been holding myself back for at least a year and half now because I was afraid of not having everything “perfect.” I’ve been afraid of others’ judgement, and afraid of my own self-perception should I fail expectations. But now the only expectations I have for myself are to live my truth and speak up for others.

That’s it.

Oh, and to stay perfectly imperfect.

9 Comments

  1. Wow. I got chills all over reading this. Thank you for sharing! I think perfectly imperfect is the best way to describe the space you’ve created. You have to start somewhere! I love you pal. ❤️ I can’t wait to see what else you create.

  2. I love this. What you wrote speaks for so many of all walks of life and it resonates so much with how I feel… thank you for your self, your courage to be yourself and for sharing your self! We are all connected and should always celebrate our differences.
    🌈🌈🌈🌈

    1. I’m so glad to have resonated with you! Thank you for the encouragement and support <3 I couldn't agree more with your last sentiment!

  3. I’m so excited for and proud of you for embarking on this journey! I encourage you to flourish as the energy flows from you and to grow inward as you feel that cycle shift for you.
    This work will help so many people, and I hope you see a joyous, supportive, and rambunctious community spring up around you because of your love and your power.

    1. I don’t think I will ever be able to thank you enough for all your love and support over the past 2 years. It truly means the world to me that you’ve always had my back and shown me ways to overcome obstacles in my path. I am most grateful, though, for the role you’ve played in me developing self confidence and healthy boundaries. That has been a HUGE life step for me to take and has affected every aspect of my life. Thank you for empowering me and being your amazing self. I love you.

      I’m so excited to get to work and build community through compassionate understanding and action!

  4. Yessss thank you so much for being a light in the world. I am so deeply grateful to know you and to be able to witness the inspiration and empowerment you send out to others❤️

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