Hi friends! Happy New Year!
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. When I first started building this platform, I threw so much energy into that I ended up burning myself out. These things happen, especially amid the neurodivergent community. What’s really cool about this, however, is that I’m finally starting to recognize my cycles for what they are. And now that there’s an observational gap to see the truth of it all, I can start working towards mediating those cycles so that I’m consistent in my work and joy.
Consistency is key! I can’t tell you how many teachers in my lifetime have written on report cards or semester reviews that I’m a wonderful student who’s eager to learn, but would do better with more consistency. That shit is deflating as hell, even just in remembrance, and I get my fair share of it here at home as I live with my mom again (that’s another post of its own).
All this to say: I’ve always wanted to do better. But setting my sight on “doing better” has never worked for me in the past. It shouldn’t have to be about “doing”. Colonialism and capitalism have really worked their magic to convince us all that we’re only worth what we can produce. Humans are meant to create, yes, but monetizing that creation has put a pressure on us that causes self-loathing, depression, anxiety, and dysfunctional relationships. What happened to just BEING?
My life coach training has really opened my eyes to the fact that we are more than our thoughts, feelings, fears, and circumstances. Yes, all of those things are real, and valid, and affect our day to day. But we are not those things; we are the witnesses to those things.
Example: an unpleasant feeling pops up: jealousy. We are not the jealousy itself, because we have a choice in what to do in response to that jealousy. When we access our higher selves, that self allows us to take a healthy action because we’ve observed that feeling.
So in light of all that, I’m wanting to express that I’m finally figuring out how to access my higher self more consistently (believe it or not lol), and not let capitalism determine my worth. As a disabled person, this new mindset is vital to my survival and future thriving. I get to show up as who I AM—compassion, creativity, courage, joy, light—to the circumstances before me, including my own neurology/physiology.
And here’s where the title of this post comes into play: I am so excited for the new year. I have new energy, new connections, other connections are deepened and strengthened, and I have a clearer vision of what I want to contribute to the world. I’m starting a new chapter, one where I put my BEING first and let the rest fall into place.
So this is my promise to you, and to myself: I am going to stay committed to loving myself enough to stay dedicated to my purpose here. It may not look like the typical production of a blog. I may be more sporadic than I’d like, I won’t be doing many “trends”, and I may post content that isn’t always writing. But I’ll always come back here to share my story and to support and build community.
Thanks for still being here. I look forward to being in community with you in this new year.