Hello hello! It’s been quite some time, my apologies. Between life being what it is, my demand-avoidance, and insecurity, keeping things active on this site is a challenge. Thanks for still being here!
To combat most of those things, I’ve decided that moving forward, no post is too small to post! (Have I said this before? Probably 😬) So here’s a little one I made earlier on my Facebook page about, well, paralysis from not wanting to do things incorrectly.
I was just talking with a friend about the autistic experience and we both connected over the Can’t Do It Wrong phenomenon:
1. I am often paralyzed when it comes to completing a task—not because I can’t do it, but because I don’t want to do it wrong. So then:
2. I end up asking a ton of questions to clarify what the “right way” is to complete such task which leads to:
4. Sometimes I don’t ask because I’m scared of being misjudged or misunderstood so I complete the task in a way I think is most efficient (and usually is most efficient, even compared to the directing person’s method), and I get scolded, or told/treated like I’m a know-it-all, or:
5. I just straight up do it wrong, or don’t do it at all, and still am seen as incompetent and end up being trusted less.
Sometimes I truly don’t understand a task, even if it’s obvious what the steps are. But if people take the time to explain to me what it is I’m supposed to have as an end result with the possible method to get there, in terms I understand, I’m a VERY quick learner, and often excel at the task at hand—often to the point of innovating new processes for that specific task, deepening understanding of it for more than just myself, or expanding the project past its original scope.
6. When asking questions I also have to be SUPER careful how I ask, because often even my questions can be seen as “dumb” because I’m asking about the already obvious steps at times, or I’m perceived as rude or antagonistic/challenging authority due to my phrasing.
I’m not saying this isn’t a normal human experience that probably most people go through at some point in their lives. What I AM saying is that it happens to me at a higher frequency (like neurotic levels), and it can often affect me physiologically to the point of making me feel sick. I also think this part of me plays into my indecisive behavior as well, as I often am paralyzed with indecision and it produces the same physiological response.
THE GAME NEVER ENDS. IT’S EXHAUSTING. GAAAHHH
Do you relate?